Work Life Balance

My laptop gave up on me.

I was neither able to connect to the network through Ethernet connection nor wireless connection.

The IS guy, after completing surgery on my laptop, gave me a sympathetic look. The bad news followed. “It looks like the BIOS or the driver is corrupted. You may have to get it from the vendor directly. As this is not our standard laptop, you have to call them and get it fixed”.

“You should always buy the company standard and not one-off make”. He advised and left the OT shrugging his shoulders.

“Well, too late buddy, I already have this one” I muttered. I had no option but to dial their help line.

“Acme Corporation, This is Sapna. How may I help you?” A pleasant voice answered my call. I was thrilled that I got the line first time.

“Hi. Sapna. You have to help my laptop. It is just not connecting to the network”. I could hear lot of noise.

“What is that noise, Sapna?”

“Oh! It is a crow sir.” She said.

“Crow?! Where are you speaking from Sapna?”

“From my home sir. Acme has recently introduced “work from home” concept to improve our work-life balance.”

“That’s nice. But can you please shoo that crow. It is really annoying.”

“Can you hold for a moment Sir?” She was on line after a moment. “It is gone now sir.”

“Thanks Sapna. But I still hear a buzz in the background”

“Oh. It is fan sir. We don’t have air conditioning at home sir. I am sorry”.

“That’s ok Sapna. I can live with that noise”

“OK. Now what was your problem sir”. She got down to business.

“My laptop. It is not connecting….”

“Can you give me your name, company, phone number, address, email, home number and the serial number of your laptop, sir?”

The worst part was the serial number. It had some 32 alphabets, 16 numbers and some Greek or Latin symbols. I always wonder why they make the serial number so complex. I am told that it is to track the exact laptop. Can they really do that? If so why? They don’t recall the laptops like cars!

It took me 10 minutes to make sure that Sapna got the right serial number.

I could hear her door bell ring several times.

“Sir, Can you hold for a moment. There is a courier at the door. If I don’t go now, the courier company will ask me to get the package from their office.”

“I sure can wait, Sapna”. I had no choice.

It took ten minutes for Sapna to be back.

“I am back sir. Sorry, what was your problem again?”

“My laptop…” There was a ring again.

“This time it doesn’t sound like the door bell Sapna” I was curious.

“Oh. It is the timer of my oven. I am baking pizza. My son loves pizza and he always wants to eat pizza after he gets back from school. Can you hold for one more moment sir? Else the pizza will be burnt.”

“Is there anything else on the stove Sapna? Make sure you are done with your kitchen work”

“You are very funny sir. I will be back in a moment.”

After ten minutes the pleasant voice of Sapna was back again. “Sorry to bother you again, can you repeat you problem again sir?”

“It is my laptop Sapna……Oh! No! It is the door bell again!!”

“It is my son. I will be back. Just hold on.”

I held on. I could hear Sapna scolding his son for getting his uniform dirty. To make the matter worse, the TV was switched on. Sapna was back.

“Your son loves Pokemon, Sapna?”

“Oh. Yeah. You are very sharp sir. How did you know?”

“It is loud and clear, Sapna”. I tried to tone down my sarcasm. She hardly noticed it anyways.

“Well, let us start all over again, sir.”

There was a Thud. A moment of silence, followed by Sapna’s screams.

“Babloo, How may times have I told you not to play cricket in home. The TV is broken. Wait until Papa comes home!”

“I am so sorry for keeping you so long Sir. Again what was the problem with your desk top Sir?” The voice was not pleasant now.
“It is not my desk top…. Oh. Never mind, my problem is trivial. You take care of yourself Sapna.”

“Thank you for calling Acme Sir. Please visit our website and fill up the survey sir. We are taking the survey to measure the effectiveness of the “work at home concept”

“Sure I will, Sapna”

Copyright Ram Mohan. Please seek written permission from Ram Mohan for any reproduction of this work.

PS: This is a fictitious humorous article and the characters and situations are my imagination. If it resembles any real life persons or situations, it is purely coincidental.